I wish I could tell you that starting and steering a successful collaborative project was the magic pixie dust that made all artistic insecurities vanish and all paths to greatness reveal themselves. I can’t. I never expected it would. But, like any person who struggles with finding their place in a large, loud, and often competitive artistic community, I secretly hoped it would.

If I’m being honest, I feel like I am struggling more now, as a photographer, than I was when we started Sham of the Perfect. There’s a lot to be said about being at the beginning of a journey. When you are at the foot of a mountain the direction is fairly clear. You start making your way upward. However, when you reach the summit of that small peak, you realize you’ve only climbed one mountain. There are higher mountains to climb and further corners of the earth to explore. Deciding where to go next is a very daunting task. But there’s also something so motivating about knowing there are mountains left to climb. Being a part of Sham of the Perfect has taught me invaluable lessons and given me some wonderful gifts to take with me into the future.

First and foremost this project has connected me with some truly incredible people. Not only has the project spawned close friendships but it’s also helped me find my feet in the photography community as a whole. When you are raising two small people, have a husband who is frequently out of town, and live in a small town, the internet becomes an ideal place to network. But that still requires a certain level of openness, which has always been an uphill battle for this girl. However, getting to build relationships with a small group of contributors made that networking more manageable. And once that was accomplished, putting myself out there a bit more was not nearly as intimidating. And gracefully, our contributors have been collection of truly kind hearted, hard working, and interesting people who have each taught me a little bit more about life each in their own unique way.

Second, this project has kept me shooting even though that has been the last thing on my mind so many times over the past few years. While this project has been running my husband’s travel schedule increased in erratic and dramatic ways. We had a second child, who was not nearly as chill as the first child. And our oldest started school and, thus, ushered me into the world of school pick ups and drop offs and field trips and volunteer hours and and and… It is exhausting. So many times picking up the camera has seemed like a chore. But it is so easy to let every day blur in to weeks, and every week blur into months, and suddenly everything has completely changed without even noticing. I am so fortunate to have albums filled with images of my kids, our family, and our home evolving over the past few years. This project has played no small part in making sure my kids will have photos of our life while living in Washington.

Third, Sham showed me that doing something hard and building something big is not out of my reach. It’s no secret that working for yourself can be lonely. It can also be very disheartening. There’s no one to give you a pep talk when you are down and no one to pat you on the back when you do well. No matter how supportive your partner might be, unless they are in the same industry, their response can feel a bit like talking to your mom when you didn’t fit in in middle school; well intentioned and appreciated, but at the end of the day easily written off. Without a community of coworkers it’s easy to put arbitrary limitations on yourself. This project not only gave me a small dedicated group of cheerleaders and advisors, it also set a precedent that larger accomplishments are achievable.

As the internet and social media have evolved, even over the past few years, blogs seem to be waning, Facebook community pages are abandoned, Instagram is booming, but is likely on a limited timeline as well. I sincerely hope that no matter how the way we connect may change, there is always a space and a way to support and be a part of collaborative projects like this one.

This project has been my baby and it pains me to put it to bed in the best way possible. Like reading a great book, you know the ending is coming and the ending needs to happen, but it saddens you nonetheless. So what next? My family and I are staring down the barrel of a possible (likely) relocation within the next year which leaves me a little uncertain what anything might look like a year from now. But there is something so wonderful about the openness and possibility in that.

But there are a few avenues that won’t be going anywhere and I’d love to connect with you all and stay in touch (seriously! Email me, DM me! I’d love to hear from you) via the following places:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/erika.n.roa/
Little Fish Photo: https://www.littlefishphoto.com/
While They Are Gone: https://www.whiletheyaregone.com/